mrs bowman,

this morning in our daily meeting, one of my staff members reported to me that i am to be your nemesis.           i wanted to let you know just how thrilled i am to take on this exceptional role. i assure you i will perform this duty with the kind of passion i usually reserve for kicking your ass in costume contests. at this very moment i’ve employed tim burton’s team of squirrel trainers to improve the daily torment inflicted on your lovely dog and to likewise increase your enjoyment this torment.

i don’t want to give any more of my games away- that would be no fun- but i do want to let you know that i am currently learning “jingle bells” on the accordion. i hope you like the song- it may be the last thing you ever hear.

thank you again for the lovely invitation.

i look forward to tormenting you until the day you die…

xoxo

amy