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Amy my sweet-
What a thoughtful friend you are, at first I was distressed to get your note about the live birds strutting around my house, but clever me, inspiration and great crafting was only a half a tank of gas away!
When I realized my living room was under siege, I high tailed it over to the orphanage for supplies and a couple extra hands- we grabbed vacuum hoses, duct tape and a few dozen pillow cases. Ten minutes later we backed up my Jeep to the front porch, sealed the windows and doors and ran a hose from my exhaust pipe in through the mailbox- fortunately the kids and the dog were off at the park! We spent the next half hour in the car revving the engine and flipping through channels on talk radio, man you wouldn’t believe the crazy stuff that happens on A.M., makes our lives seem kinda dull!
My scheme worked like a charm, the birds dropped dead almost immediately and I think the sofa is the only living room piece which will need to be recovered (bill is on the way for that one!). I supervised the waifs in turkey plucking, we used the left over feathers for new pillows and then I dropped the kids off at the highway on-ramp where they managed to sell the carcasses for $40 a piece! After splitting the profits I took Oliver Twist & Co. back home for some well deserved rest.
I was pretty tired myself but wanted to send you a little “Thank You” memento- fortunately chocolate candies come together in a snap and I was able to whip up this little treat. I hope the shape doesn’t bring back too many painful memories for you, it was the only candy mold I had in the house. It’s amazing to see how fast you’re recovering, I hear goring by a deer is one of the most painful injuries a person can have, and if that antler had been just an inch to the left… well it gives me the shivers.
Get well soon!
Shawn
Before
Amy-
It was so thoughtful of you to call my husband yesterday, but really YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE! I’ll admit that I was pleasantly surprised to see him tidying up the house and doing laundry. He said it was your idea, that perhaps I wouldn’t feel so run down if the place wasn’t such a “pig sty”, and you’re right, I’ve let my domestic duties go completely in the crapper since you stole my IPRC Text Ball Costume Contest Winner title… However to suggest to him to “wash everything in hot water especially my new sweater from Anthropologie” is beyond sporting. What was the cornerstone of my fall wardrobe and perfectly matches my new princess flats, now doesn’t even fit the dog. The gloves are off bitch! Rather than prank call you at work or tamper with the breaks on your pickup, I’ve decided to get you where it really hurts… a craft off. The challenge… in 48 hours you need to modify one garment which has been accidentally been damaged by someone close to you. If you’re having a hard time thinking of something I’d be happy to come over and help you out with the 1st part. I’ll need before and after photo documentation and a signed affidavit that you completed the work yourself and didn’t pawn it of on some five-year-old.
As you’ll note from my pictures, I’ve taken the lemons and made lemonade… what once was a shrunken felted mess is now an ever-so-cute clutch with apliqued flowers and bakelite handle which I salvaged from something my mother passed on to me… So, good luck the clock is ticking…
After, one cute clutch!
Goes by the name of Bingo
Amy my love,
Shoot! So sorry to have missed our sunset rendezvous. I had actually stopped by your house this evening, with a peace offering of my own. No one was home so I let myself in. Regretfully the boa constrictor I’ve been looking after this weekend for Xander’s 1st grade class slipped out of my purse while I was inside. He’s fairly small and shouldn’t pose any threat. Unfortunately he hightailed it into your heating duct before I could get my hands on him. He should come out when he gets hungry enough, you could leave out a small mouse or perhaps a dead squirrel, I hear you’ve got a lot of them around these days. With the days getting shorter he may go into an early hibernation, especially if he starts nesting in your walls so it might be late spring before you actually see him, of course by then he may have grown several feet and be a bit more frisky. The children told me that he is easily agitated by music and especially dislikes accordion music and holiday tunes in particular. Under no circumstances should you practice the accordion while he is in the house, especially if you are on the telephone, this may send him into mouth foaming fits and he may bite. Just a quick heads up on that one.
Sleep with one eye open!
Shawn
