Dearest Marilyn-
Thank you for the kind note and lovely parting gifts! I’m very excited for the Arm and a Leg gift certificate, though I think for 25$ I’ll probably be able to get a small finger or toe. I had so much fun last night, there were some fantastic outfits. I loved Yellow Journalism and the very simple ones like Spilling the Beans… so inspired. Amy is no longer my best friend but arch rival, I’m plotting a diabolical termination for her, she will be my Moriarty, though tossing her over a waterfall seems too demure… Her death will be something grand and possibly text related… perhaps the hem of her gown will get caught in a letter press or I’ll slip a toxic Indian Ink into her double shot decaf mocha latte. I’ll put super glue on the keys of her accordion and when she goes to practice she’ll become immobilized, spending weeks with the instrument between her arms, weakening from it’s weight and unable to feed herself or call for help. Her last moments will be spent playing her own sad funeral dirge…First I will send her threatening letters with the text cut from obscure European periodicals, perhaps Le Mond… I will document this all in a graphic novel dedicated to her undoing, the pages made from the skins of squirrels who frolic outside her window, the ink- the spit and venom which circulates from my very corpus. I will title the tome… “Bitch! That Tiara is Mine! The Blind leading the Blind only leads to Blind Justice!”
With great fondness,
Shawn
